Coffee and TV
by arturus luminae
Summary: Takes place directly after Shinji's alternate reality scene. How the new student Rei Ayanami barge upon the lives of Ikari and Langley


Disclaimer: Evangelion is duly owned by Gainax. I don't own it.  
  
"…have you ever rode his balooney-poney?"  
  
"Uh… no! I'm just…"  
  
"Hehe! I never knew, Shinji that you're getting it on with Asuka!"  
  
"Hey, quiet, all of you!"  
  
"Don't mind them Hikari, this is better than class."  
  
The argument continued. On, and on, and on…  
  
Evangelion: Coffee and TV   
(Inspired by the optimistic song, Coffee and TV, by Blur)  
  
The continued ranting and shouting from the Class 2-A alerted the teacher next door.  
  
"What the hell is happening here?" asked Kaji-sensei, the teacher of class 2-B.  
  
"Hey Misato, it's your booooyfriend!" Asuka shouted  
  
"Is not"  
  
"Is too"  
  
"Is not"  
  
Kaji interrupted the two. "Is it just me or you look like you're drunk again and can't handle a class Misato?  
  
Misato turned red with anger "No! I'm not *Drunk*!" she said as she put her right sleeve on her mouth.  
  
  
On that right sleeve is a small tube that runs from the cuff until underneath the teacher's table, connected to a can of beer. Sip, sip!  
  
  
Now more arguments…  
  
***  
Lunch Time  
  
Shinji took a slight breath of relief. "That's over." He thought. Lunch time was his favorite time of the day. And unfortunately (again), he forgot his lunch that mother supposedly prepared, thanks to Asuka (again). He sighed, and then felt something in his back pocket.  
  
It was his wallet.  
  
He never much took his wallet to school. But he knew what this meant. He took out the wallet and saw it with enough money to buy him twelve lunches. Also inside was a note:  
  
  
Shinji,  
  
Don't worry; your mother was also like that to me when we're still dating. She was same as Asuka then, look at her now. She's so sweet!  
  
Dad  
  
  
"I owe father this one."  
  
Another thought, there were four canteens in the school. One is the government owned; another is one that a parent owned. Another canteen was more of a snack and dessert bar, and another is a McDonald's franchise on the school. There were a lot of canteens, to serve the huge number of students attending classes in the High School.  
  
"Where do I go? Where do I go?" He thought.  
  
"Shinji – kun!"  
  
"That voice. Can it be? … Yes Ayanami?"  
  
"Don't call me that, I like Rei better. Well anyways I'm kinda new to this school and can you like… give me a tour while lunch? And just to note: I'm not angry at you staring at my panties this morning. If you want too, I'll show you more"  
  
"Well… um…"  
  
"Baka – Shinji will be coming with me!"  
  
Shinji felt a grip on his left arm.  
  
"You again Sohryu? You've really rode his pony then?"  
  
"No! I'm just defending this defenseless stupid from sluts like you?   
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she said as she gripped Shinji's right arm.  
  
"Hey, let me go! Please?" Shinji pleaded  
  
The girls apparently did not listen to Shinji's plea.  
  
"Oh my God, it's a giant metal purple robot outside! Look!" Shinji shouted  
  
Both girls looked at the window and released him.  
  
That was Shinji's signal to run away… run away from them.  
  
"McDonald's sure be the best place to go… IT'S THE FARTHEST!"  
  
***  
  
Dismissal Time  
  
Shinji was listening to his SDAT hard drive player. He was a music and computer enthusiast. He is always the one that has the best music equipment and other tech gear. His father's work at the Fuyutsuki Research Institute, where the family friend Kouzou Fuyutsuki own, pays his father big time.  
  
"Hey Shinji, me and Kensuke are going to play ball at the court today. Are you coming?" Touji asked.  
  
"Sure."  
  
As he was coming to his best friends he heard something from the other side of the hallway.  
  
"Shinji-kun!"  
  
"Baka-Shinji!"  
  
"Uh, oh, sorry guys not today!" Shinji shouted as he ran towards the exit,  
  
***  
  
He continually ran and ran. Shinji was losing his speed when he looked back. There they were Rei and Asuka overtaking each other, chasing after him. He quickly regained his pace as he saw the apartment complex his home was.  
  
The door quickly opened.  
  
"MAAAAA I'M HOOOOOOOOOOOOME!" Shinji shouted as he removed his shoes and ran towards his room.  
  
"Is that you Shin-chan?" Yui asked as she was chopping some carrots for dinner.  
  
As Yui was continually chopping, the door opened. She looked at the door where she saw two girls trying to get in at the same time. Asuka pushed Rei back so that she can enter first. She ran towards the direction of Shinji's room. She tried to pull open the door when she realized that it was locked.  
  
"Baka, come out here! … Mrs. Ikari, why does Shinji have a lock?"  
  
"Asuka dear, he installed it himself to prevent you from barging in his room every morning. He sure forgets it to lock every time… Yet now he remembered." Yui replied.  
  
Then Rei ran to the kitchen countertop where Yui was working.  
  
"You're Mrs. Ikari?! Wow! I'm Rei Ayanami! Pleased to meet you. You know you're son is very CUUUTE and yet he is always attached to Sohryu. Why Mrs. Ikari? Are Shinji and Sohryu in a fixed marriage? Because that sucks! Let it be me. Me please?"  
  
"We're not in a fixed marriage. I'm just protecting him from you… you…"  
  
"Just say that word?"  
  
"S L U T" Asuka spelled.  
  
*ahem* Yui stops the two and pointed at the floor.  
  
Both girls looked down. They forgot to remove their shoes and since they ran to a mud puddle a while ago, made a serious mess at the floor.  
  
Yui picked up a pail with cleaning accessories and showed it to the two,  
  
"Clean that mess. This will be your punishment for entering without permission and not removing your shoes. And since today is supposedly my wax day, you can also wax the floor. Make sure it's sparkling!"  
  
"Yes ma'am." They grunted while Yui was laughing hysterically.  
  
***  
  
Dinner Time  
  
"Honey, I'm home!"  
  
Gendo Ikari arrived at the Ikari household. He kissed his wife then sat on the sofa to watch the evening news.  
  
"Is dinner ready?"  
  
"It's done already. I'll go get Shinji."  
  
Yui walked towards Shinji's room.  
  
"Shin-chan, dinner's ready."  
  
"Are they gone?"  
  
"Yes dear."  
  
Shinji unlocked and opened the door.  
  
"Hey mom, nice floor shine!"  
  
"Don't thank me, thank your wives."  
  
"My WHAT?"  
  
"Just sit down on the table."  
  
Shinji sat on the table.  
  
"Hey dad thanks." Shinji whispered to his father.  
  
"Don't mention it."  
  
Yui brought two serving plates to the table.  
  
"Wow, chicken curry and chop suey!" Both Gendo and Shinji said in praise.  
  
"Ikedakimasu!" Shinji said as he started to gobble the meal.  
  
"Mom, this both tastes good! What did you do with them?" Shinji said between chews.  
  
"Still… don't thank me, thank your wives Shinji. Asuka made the curry while Rei cooked the chop suey."  
  
"They're not my wives!" Shinji retorted with his mouth full.  
  
"Shinji has wives? You lucky dog! I knew you would get your traits from your old man!" Gendo remarked.  
  
Both his Father and Mother laughed at the thought. Shinji was just there, continued eating silently."  
  
"I'm done!"  
  
In fact it's done.  
  
End  
  
Author's notes  
  
Wondering where in there Coffee and TV comes here. The sound feels optimistic and so is this fic.  
  
I would like to thank some people. These are the same people I thanked for my failed first Eva Fanfic project: Alain Gravel (The One I Love Is), Axel Terizaki (The Child of Love), David Templar (Is this your name, I forgot. The Child of Love 2) and all the countless writers I have read before I made my own. I have been reading Eva fics since 1999.  
  
This will continue, but will be in a later time since I'm taking care of the Vandread Fanfiction Awards.  
  
(Shows three fingers)  
  
E ya later! 


End file.
